MCC Friday Reflections: May 2011

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67 down...3 to go...

67 down...3 to go...

On a brisk fall morning 10 years ago, I sat with a group of 9-year olds and we talked about respect. They were instructed to close their eyes and imagine a scene as I described it. Each time I introduced a new concept into the "scene" they were to raise their hand when they had the image fully formed in their mind. It started out simple, "Imagine a field", all hands were raised. "Imagine a small cabin in the field", again, all hands were raised. This went on as I took them into the cabin, had them find a table in the middle of the main room, place a plate on the table and on the plate, they were to place three objects...A banana (hands raised), an apple (hands raised again) and a quetzal (no hands raised--in fact, the noises of wonderment were amusing). Many thought I said "pretzel" so I repeated it...”quetzal". I acted as though I expected them to know what a queztal was, just as they knew all of the other items in our scenario.

They had no clue what a quetzal was.

I explained that a quetzal was a South American bird with very colorful feathers (almost like an exotic parrot). Light bulbs went off all around the room as they began to form this image in their heads. I asked them to re-close their eyes and now place the queztal between the apple and the banana...all hands raised high in the air.

We spoke of respect. We spoke of how we can use words to communicate but if we do not know the true meaning of a word, the interpretation becomes clouded.

We defined respect. We gave examples of respect. We practiced respect.

I then challenged my class--the first class of my teaching career--I challenged them to make a goal for the year to gather as many unsolicited compliments they could by the end of the year (we defined "unsolicited compliments" before setting the goal).

They set the goal at 15.

They also agreed that the "reward" for this was the attainment of the goal; the satisfaction in a job well done. Internal motivation was being sown.

They reached their goal. They celebrated. We celebrated.

Each year since then, every one of my classes has set a goal to increase the number of unsolicited compliments reached by the previous year. Each year we have met the goal. Each year we celebrate. Each year we learn a bit more about internal motivation and the satisfaction of a job well done.

This year my students set their goal at 70 unsolicited compliments.

70!

They have (as I write this at 7:45 am on 5.27.11) 67 unsolicited compliments to their credit.

I know they will reach their goal. I know they will celebrate. I know they will someday reap the sown seeds of internal motivation from this experience.

I also know that when I retire, I will carry with me every unsolicited compliment reported to me in light of my students' behavior. I will carry the cumulative sum of them all and I will celebrate. I will reap the sown seeds of knowing that I have, in some small way, instilled a sense of internal motivation to so many children.

67 down...3 to go...

Mr. Casten

May 27, 2011

Copyrighted material of Michael C. Casten

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My Father's Bridge...

My Father's Bridge...

One of my students approached me saying that her dad was out of town for a week. She was sad knowing she would miss him. A friend put her arm around her and said, "You can come to my house and call my dad your dad." The week continued and I'm sure she missed her dad in those moments that she was used to having him around. I am also sure the reunion will be a sweet one.

During class this week I asked my parent volunteers to come in and share something special with the class. The parents are a mixture of moms and dads. One dad entered the classroom, and as always many of the kids' eyes lit up, for they have a special spot for this dad. He commanded the class with style and grace and in his usual fashion throughout the year; he provided an atmosphere conducive to group cohesiveness.

Dads are special people.

My father's 81st birthday is fast approaching. He lives by himself in an assisted living home, battling dementia, trying to remember where his late wife and daughter are...often calling me to inquire of them. I have to remind him of the present day, his present situation, and that they are no longer with us. He remembers after our conversation. Many times when we part ways I experience the same memory of him from my childhood...I think about how I used to climb up to curl up on his lap with my ear against his chest, listening to him breath and talk. It lulled me to sleep every time.

I also remember one story he tells of his father. As a teenager in the 1940's he was walking home from high school, crossing the same bridge as he had always done for years. His brother approached him saying that their father had died. My father stood on the bridge, wishing he could go back from whence he came. He did, however, have to cross the bridge and face the reality on the other side.
I don't think my father ever really got over that bridge.

Fathers are special people.

I've worked closely with children for 18 years now. I have seen many relationships between child and father...no two are alike. One common thread however is the love that exists between them no matter what has transpired in their lives. It is unlike any other love; protective yet gentle, demanding yet kind, wise but free spirited.

A Father's Love.

My job as a teacher and as the Director of PR & Finances of Mama Bracelets helps support my family. Through both I have gained unique insights into family dynamics, an in-depth look at the precious relationship that exists between parent and child. As Father's Day approaches I realize that the strength of a Father's Love can never be broken, for we will not allow it.

By the time Father's Day comes, school will be out. My Friday Reflections will be dormant until Fall. My time will be spent being the best father I can be to my three beautiful children...time well spent with enduring love.

I am in the midst of preparing a Father's Day campaign for Mama Bracelets and among the many plans I have for the campaign, I have written a poem to express my thoughts of fatherhood. I will share it with you now since our paths may not cross before June 19, 2011.

I hope that you like it.

A Father's Love

Attentive always to your many needs~

Feeling proud to call you his own~
Asking only to see your very best~
Tireless in his adoration of all his children~
Holding you close to the warmth of his heart~
Enjoying you daily throughout his life~
Reaching out when pain fills your heart~
Singing lullabyes when fear grips you in the night~

Living his life with you on his mind~
Opening his heart to let all in~
Visions of you motivate his actions~
Enjoying the pleasures that you and fatherhood offer~

Mr. Casten

May 20, 2011

Copyrighted material of Michael C. Casten

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Play.Rules.Apology.Forgive...

Play, Rules, Apology, Forgive...

There comes a time when the adults must let the children work it out. Whether it's between siblings or classmates.

The playground is a place of learning that sometimes offers more valuable lessons than any textbook or teacher could impart on a child. It is the real-life experience that sits in the minds of children and from whence they draw their conclusion about the world; what's fair, what's acceptable, what's right.

My students have formed an impressive "playground relationship" with one another. It wasn't always this way, though. When they first came to me they struggled with "play". They struggled with something that came to them so naturally. Maybe it wasn't so much the "play" part of play that caused the problems. Maybe it was the process of how to play in a group, enjoy oneself, and overcome obstacles that hinders the enjoyment of the game at hand.

We worked on these things. We worked on them directly in the classroom; the teacher telling them what is expected. We worked on them during lessons when we had small groups working together. Here was an opportunity for them to spend a short time with others kids they might have chosen to spend time with, but with a common purpose in mind. We worked on them during recess itself.

The last arena for practice of play is the playground itself. Everything else is preparatory.

My students have learned the following ideas about play:

Play (to enjoy a game and have fun)
Rules (a set of agreed upon ideas about how to play the game)
Apology (offering a sincere "sorry" when a rule is broken or play does not result in "fun")
Forgive (to accept the apology and understand that we all make mistakes)

They still work on these and probably will for some time to come...

Don't we all?